At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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