and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
