she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
