just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
