Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize