Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
