I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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