We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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