theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
