It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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