Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
