and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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