All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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