oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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