hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
