did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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