I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
