Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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