I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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