she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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