Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
