Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize