The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
a search helicopter?!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
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I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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