I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
