What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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