am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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