what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
