I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
