See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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