And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
