I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
