First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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