Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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