so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
