I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
