I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
