you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
