he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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