Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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