where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize