Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
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