there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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