Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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