I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
