Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're so nebulous sometimes
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
