dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
