Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
