He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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