I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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