sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
