Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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