she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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