I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
