my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
