Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
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