You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
