I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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