Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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