quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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