alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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