So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
