I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.