just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
