What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
