i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
