If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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