Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
