I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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