can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize