Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
