You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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